Monday, September 12, 2011

Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 01

    Miss Mexico Universe 2011 Karin Ontiveros: There's A LOT riding on Karin. Last year's Miss Universe, Ximena Navarette is from Mexico and did EVERYTHING right in 2010--including choosing the right gown. I'm not sure if Karin chose correctly here. It's just a bit "off". A two-piece purple strapless peplum'ed bustier with over-sized flower detail--and a gold lame skirt. If she were hosting a minor award show in Mexico City that her abuelita would be attending: Maybe. But not for the Miss Universe Pageant. Her hair and make-up look great though--very Selena Gomez.
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 02

    Miss India Universe 2011 Vasuki Sunkavalli: I expect a lot from those stunning--and very stylist Miss India's. However, at least for the choice of this gown and styling: Not so much-ey. It looks like a gown I would have designed and made TEN years ago (I think I actually did!) But what bothers me most are the BIG BLACK PUMPS! Whyyyyyyy? It makes no sense. Didn't she bring some metallic strappy heels (EVERY pageant girls needs to have at least THREE pairs!) or nude ones. The whole look wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for those BLACK PUMPS!
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 03

    Miss Finland Universe 2011 Pia Pakarinen: OK, she's just GORGEOUS. Doll-like. She'll be in the Top 15 just for that beautiful face! Leave it to those Scandinavians to produce beauties like her! Something about the fish, the vodka and the cold weather I guess. But I am not a fan of her gown choice here. It's very "Bridesmaid", especially the light pastel color. And, what is up with THAT 4 inches too short length?
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 04

    Miss Hungary Universe 2011 Betta Lipcsei: Well, basically all I have to say is that's just a whole lot of tiered ruffles! Is she a background player at a Budapest performance of "Bizet's Carmen"? It's very "Cha-Cha" and I do LOVE Cha-Cha, but not for this. I say try again and maybe with not so many tiers of ruffles--a "Mermaid"-style gown skirt would have been better.
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 05

    Miss Georgia Universe 2011 Eka Gurtskaia: Look at what we've got here--It's a MINI...No, wait, it's long. No, it's a Mini. No wait, It's BOTH: A Mini dress with a fitted chiffon long skirt overlay...with a silver metallic bodice midriff. Here's the thing: It's WRONG and a little trashy. If it would have been lined all the way to the floor (as opposed to a mini way too close to her nether-regions) it actually could have been nice.
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 06

    Miss Brazil Universe 2011 Priscilla Machado: A lot is also riding on Priscilla. She's the "home-country" girl. The Miss Universe Pageant is--after all--taking place in Brazil! I am disappointed in this gown choice. It's the kind of pageant dress that ends up on the Sale Rack at a local Prom/Bridal Boutique! And, why did she allow herself to get a big poufy 54-year-old Housewife Hair-DON'T? Here's a suggestion Priscilla: Go to Miss Venezuela or Miss Puerto Rico's Hotel Room and closets, take one of their gowns...and you'll be "good as new"! They'll never know the gowns are missing.
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 07

    Miss Montenegro Universe 2011 Nikolina Loncar: OK, I LOVE her first name--NIKOLINA!! But this dress!!! Please tell me her ruched poly chiffon one-shoulder dress does NOT have a Cuff Train Holder? Those three words: Cuff, Train, Holder...I NEVER wanna see together again. And on her feet: The black pumps that DON'T MATCH at all! Chinese Laundry (Miss Universe Shoe Sponsor): We need some silver/metallic strappy heels ASAP!
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 08

    Miss Belgium Universe 2011 Justine De Jonckheere: Oh huney, there are TOO many things going on with this dress: It's a one-shoulder..but then it's not; then there's a Blouson sleeve for no apparent reason; then straps connecting the midriff-waist; a high side slit. It's a little "Belly-Dancer"-ish. To finish it all off, she adds (because she feels it's sooooo necessary!) a tacky necklace, a cuff, PLUS the bouffant hair. She's such a cute girl. Why? Strip her of EVERYTHING and put her in a simple strapless sequined column gown. Done and done!
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

    Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 09

    Miss Guatemala Universe 2011 Alejandra Barillas: But, I will save the Best "Hot Mess" for last. This is A LOT of Gown: The Football Quarterback-sized sequined shoulder caplet (I know that Strong Shoulders are "In" but this is taking it to a WHOLE other level!), the high slit (of course), PLUS the too-long train (for no reason) and then (Drum Roll!!), THOSE Stiletto Platform Dominatrix pumps!? Here's a positive: This ensemble would be FABULOSO on a Drag Queen for "Joan Crawford Meets Joan Collins Night" at a bar in West Hollywood. Remove the Over-sized Shoulder-Padded Caplet, cut 20 inches off that train and get her some peep-toe nude pumps (with NO PLATFORM!) and she'll be "back in the game"!
    Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown

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