Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown

Miss Universe 2011 - The HOT MESSES Evening Gown 01

Miss Mexico Universe 2011 Karin Ontiveros: There's A LOT riding on Karin. Last year's Miss Universe, Ximena Navarette is from Mexico and did EVERYTHING right in 2010--including choosing the right gown. I'm not sure if Karin chose correctly here. It's just a bit "off". A two-piece purple strapless peplum'ed bustier with over-sized flower detail--and a gold lame skirt. If she were hosting a minor award show in Mexico City that her abuelita would be attending: Maybe. But not for the Miss Universe Pageant. Her hair and make-up look great though--very Selena Gomez.



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Miss India Universe 2011 Vasuki Sunkavalli: I expect a lot from those stunning--and very stylist Miss India's. However, at least for the choice of this gown and styling: Not so much-ey. It looks like a gown I would have designed and made TEN years ago (I think I actually did!) But what bothers me most are the BIG BLACK PUMPS! Whyyyyyyy? It makes no sense. Didn't she bring some metallic strappy heels (EVERY pageant girls needs to have at least THREE pairs!) or nude ones. The whole look wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for those BLACK PUMPS!



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Miss Finland Universe 2011 Pia Pakarinen: OK, she's just GORGEOUS. Doll-like. She'll be in the Top 15 just for that beautiful face! Leave it to those Scandinavians to produce beauties like her! Something about the fish, the vodka and the cold weather I guess. But I am not a fan of her gown choice here. It's very "Bridesmaid", especially the light pastel color. And, what is up with THAT 4 inches too short length?



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Miss Hungary Universe 2011 Betta Lipcsei: Well, basically all I have to say is that's just a whole lot of tiered ruffles! Is she a background player at a Budapest performance of "Bizet's Carmen"? It's very "Cha-Cha" and I do LOVE Cha-Cha, but not for this. I say try again and maybe with not so many tiers of ruffles--a "Mermaid"-style gown skirt would have been better.



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Miss Georgia Universe 2011 Eka Gurtskaia: Look at what we've got here--It's a MINI...No, wait, it's long. No, it's a Mini. No wait, It's BOTH: A Mini dress with a fitted chiffon long skirt overlay...with a silver metallic bodice midriff. Here's the thing: It's WRONG and a little trashy. If it would have been lined all the way to the floor (as opposed to a mini way too close to her nether-regions) it actually could have been nice.



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Miss Brazil Universe 2011 Priscilla Machado: A lot is also riding on Priscilla. She's the "home-country" girl. The Miss Universe Pageant is--after all--taking place in Brazil! I am disappointed in this gown choice. It's the kind of pageant dress that ends up on the Sale Rack at a local Prom/Bridal Boutique! And, why did she allow herself to get a big poufy 54-year-old Housewife Hair-DON'T? Here's a suggestion Priscilla: Go to Miss Venezuela or Miss Puerto Rico's Hotel Room and closets, take one of their gowns...and you'll be "good as new"! They'll never know the gowns are missing.



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Miss Montenegro Universe 2011 Nikolina Loncar: OK, I LOVE her first name--NIKOLINA!! But this dress!!! Please tell me her ruched poly chiffon one-shoulder dress does NOT have a Cuff Train Holder? Those three words: Cuff, Train, Holder...I NEVER wanna see together again. And on her feet: The black pumps that DON'T MATCH at all! Chinese Laundry (Miss Universe Shoe Sponsor): We need some silver/metallic strappy heels ASAP!



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Miss Belgium Universe 2011 Justine De Jonckheere: Oh huney, there are TOO many things going on with this dress: It's a one-shoulder..but then it's not; then there's a Blouson sleeve for no apparent reason; then straps connecting the midriff-waist; a high side slit. It's a little "Belly-Dancer"-ish. To finish it all off, she adds (because she feels it's sooooo necessary!) a tacky necklace, a cuff, PLUS the bouffant hair. She's such a cute girl. Why? Strip her of EVERYTHING and put her in a simple strapless sequined column gown. Done and done!



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Miss Guatemala Universe 2011 Alejandra Barillas: But, I will save the Best "Hot Mess" for last. This is A LOT of Gown: The Football Quarterback-sized sequined shoulder caplet (I know that Strong Shoulders are "In" but this is taking it to a WHOLE other level!), the high slit (of course), PLUS the too-long train (for no reason) and then (Drum Roll!!), THOSE Stiletto Platform Dominatrix pumps!? Here's a positive: This ensemble would be FABULOSO on a Drag Queen for "Joan Crawford Meets Joan Collins Night" at a bar in West Hollywood. Remove the Over-sized Shoulder-Padded Caplet, cut 20 inches off that train and get her some peep-toe nude pumps (with NO PLATFORM!) and she'll be "back in the game"!

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The Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown and Hairstyle

The Best Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown and Hairstyle 01

The 60th Annual Miss Universe 2011 Pageant is well under way in São Paulo Brazil--site of this year's pageant. All the 89 contestants have already arrived from all over the world to begin all their "checking-in", fittings, events, touring and photo shoots--as well as the upcoming Preliminaries. The Final telecast will be shown LIVE on NBC and Telemundo Monday September 12th. The Miss Universe website has just put up photos of the contestants including the much-anticipated (at least for me!) "Evening Gown Portraits". Some girls bring their own gowns from back home for this and some are able to chose from a "rack" of dresses the Miss Universe Wardrobe Dept. has for them, of course, from the "Official Fashion Sponsor", Sherri Hill... ow, these are NOT necessarily the actual FINAL Gowns they will wear on the FINAL night (A LOT, reserve a "very special" gown for that!). But still, it gives a good indication of their "taste level" and well, how "Gown-Savvy" and "Not-So-Gown-Savvy" these women are. So, even though these ARE NOT NECESSARILY the Final Gowns they will wear on the Telecast, I still have to give my "Nick Beauty Pageant Gown Two Cents. No. 10: Miss Kosovo Universe 2011 Aferdita Dreshaj--Aferdita squeaks into my "Top Ten Gown Faves" in this canary yellow halter-style taffeta satin gown. The color is impacting. The silhouette and style fits her very well and reminds me of a 1950's "Hollywood Starlet". I do realize that it is a little bit "Miss Teen USA" and well, kind of "Disney Princess", but this girl is so stunning, that it works. The only thing that DOESN'T work is that BOUFFANT hair of hers. Someone should be FIRED for that!



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No. 9: Miss China Universe 2011 Luo Zilin--This bubblegum pink is a popular color for pageant dresses this season and it looks amazing on Miss China Universe. She's OVER 6 feet tall, and I'm just happy the gown is still the correct length and not ending up above her ankles. Also, she gets EXTRA "Nick V." points for the peep-toe nude/blush-colored pumps, especially when you see the STRIPPER heels some of my "Not-so-Faves" wore (in an upcoming post!). I'm also happy the slit isn't up to her you-know-what.



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No. 8: Miss Vietnam Universe 2011 Hoang My Vu--This strappy animal print chiffon gown that Hoang My Vu is wearing here is very Cavalli runway and on-trend with what's going on in evening gowns. Therefore, she gets high marks from me. It fits beautifully and stands out--in a good way--in a sea of solid bright colored satins. Bring on the prints! As long as they're delicate ones.



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No. 7: Miss Slovak Republic Universe 2011 Dagmar Kolesarova--I really like this pretty blush colored satin and chiffon gown with crystal strap detail on the exotic and strong-featured Dagmar. It softens her. I also love the straight-on pose (SOOOO many girls did these odd and awkward side-to-back poses which were NOT cute!). The big pouf in the front of her head is a bit 1994 and Prom-y, but I will forgive her for that! (again, can we fire the hair people!!??).



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No. 6: Miss Angola Universe 2011 Leila Lopes--Wow. Period. There were lots of these silver or creme/nude-colored gowns in this year's "Miss Universe 2011 Website Evening Gown Portraits" but this is one of the strongest for me. It has drama, gorgeous sequin and feathered detail; it's elegant and Red Carpet-ready! Not a fan of the "Beyoncé Armpit" pose, but other than that: An "A" for Angola!



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No. 5: Miss Switzerland Universe 2011 Kerstin Cook--One of the most beautiful girls in this year's pageant (and there are A LOT!!), this 5'11", 22 year old is DESTINED to be one of Donald Trump's "Trump Model Management' girls! (if the Miss Universe crown proves elusive to her). The red color is a stand-out choice for Kerstin. The draped chiffon bust style is fabulous and "Grecian-Goddess"-like. I also love the just-the-right-amount of sequined straps, to give it that touch of "Pageant Elegance". P.S.: She looks very "Taylor Swift" in this gown.



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No. 4: Miss St. Lucia Universe 2011 Joy-Ann Biscette--You. Go. Girl! This is one of those gowns that I am sure "Pageant People" will be all "a-twitter" about and either be on the "Love It" or "Hate It". I LOVE IT!!! The bubblegum pink (there it is again!) is GA-GA-Gorgeous on her and I give her MAJAH points for choosing such a "Haute Couture Runway"-like directional style. Therefore, she makes my Top Four!!! Not so sure about those scalloped edges of her peplum (should have been straight just like the top section), but other than that: You Go Girl Miss St. Lucia!



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No. 3: Miss Venezuela Universe 2011 Vanessa Goncalves--One of my favorites in this color-group of gowns (there were lots!). This is a perfect Red Carpet-worthy gown that one could see at the Oscars, Emmys, etc. Things I Love: The delicate crystals throughout the dress, the interesting godet, cascading organza pieces from the thigh down, the shoulder twisted-knot detail. Also, there's no HOOCHIE slit ANYWHERE and the Mermaid-shape fits her impeccably. There's delicacy and grandeur in this gown: Muy Bien Vanessa! My Almost-Almost Favorite!



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No. 2: Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2011 Viviana Ortiz--Yes kids, Viviana Ortiz and her gown make it to the No. TWO spot on my "Evening Gown Portrait" Best Countdown!! The shape, color, fabrication: All of it is absolute perfection! All she needs is the crown. It also looks expensive and almost custom. I would be surprised if it was not from one of those top Puerto Rican or Venezuelan-based designers who are so much in demand these days. This is NOT a $499 gown from a store kids (or at least it shouldn't be!). Even her styling and hair were just right: No over-accessorizing and no BIG Bouffant "Real Housewives of New Jersey" hair. Bellisima!



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No. 1: Miss USA 2011 Alyssa Campanella--But my Favorite of these Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown Portraits was definitely Miss USA. First, let's begin with the fact that she is STUNNING! OK, now that we got that out of the way, we can discuss her gown choice. Very now, very "Red Carpet", and very "Runway Model" and NOTHING, ZERO, NADA Pageantry about it!! No cheap diamantes, no too-high slits (thank you Alyssa!). I love the golden lame look of the fabrication, the diagonally pleated bust and side details as well as the "Mermaid-Lite" shape. In one word: Sublime.

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